2006-01-04 10:05:20 UTC
it in number-10.gov.uk
RE: Single Mothers
Hello, i read recently about changes which intend to target non paying
fathers. Whilst i appreciate this is a good move for those fathers who have
no interest in the welfare of their child, i am concerned about another
In my situation, my ex partner acts as a law unto herself, never considering
whats best for my son. She's always threatening me regarding contact and
constantly changes it.
In the 3 years since our split, my contact has changed from every weekend,
to every other with wed night tea and now every other. This still changes
according to her mood. Infact, i virtually lost contact over the christmas
In the summer she ordered me to take a week off work, so I could have my son
in the hols. When the time come, she changed her mind again and said I could
only have my son 2 days, even though she was looking forward to spending a
week with his daddy.
I realise that the usual practise is to obtain a court access order and i
intend to investigate this further.
Even if I did goto court, its been shown that the system cannot enforce the
orders, therefore, any involvement on their part is a waste of time and
When 2 parents have split, do you not think it would be better for the local
social services etc to monitor the seperated family relationship and keep
the mothers who are thinking only of themselves inline?
If a child is being physically abused, the social services intervene.
When a mother persists in dissrupting contact, the child in question is
being mentally abused.
A month ago, my son asked me why is cousin gets to see his dad every week.
Since I am not as petty as the mother, i didn't know what to say. In
response, I asked the mother if I could please see more of my son. She said
no, with no explanation and then withdrew that weekends contact. How can
that be right? Who is making sure these mothers are acting in the best
interests of the child?
You cannot assume that just because these mothers are adults, that they
behave like adults.
I read somewhere that is this the wishes of the goverment to encourage the
mothers to see their children.
I think is naive to think that the main responsible parent can be trusted to
do whats right.
In my opinion, when a split occurs, social services should visit seperated
families (mother and father), initially every 3 months and then with reduced
frequency as time goes on (assuming the mother behaves).
I hope you read this, because I believe strongly that in my case, the best
interests of the child are not being observed and even with court
intervention, this child will continually subjected to the immature
behaviour of his mother.